For men 40+ who are done with the bullshit

No BS. No Broscience.Just Answers.

For men who Google fitness questions at 11pm and find 12 contradictory answers, 3 aggressive sales pitches, and zero clarity.

Answer Machines: tools that give you the straight answer in 2 minutes. No fluff. No upsell. Just answers.

Free. No signup required. See if our approach clicks for you.

The Solution

Answer Machines

You ask a question. You get the answer. You move on with your life.

More Answer Machines coming soon:

Goal Weight
Timeline Truth
Protein Playbook
Supplement Filter
Direction Finder
T-Check

Why Phantom?

"Eat clean"

isn't an answer.

"It depends"

isn't an answer.

"Buy my program"

isn't an answer.

You're 40+. You have a job. You don't have time to become a part-time nutrition researcher just to figure out how much protein you need.

Phantom exists to take out the hurdles.

The fitness industry is broken.

And it's broken on purpose. Confused people buy programs, supplements, and coaching.

Conflicting information

One article says carbs are evil, the next says eat pasta. Both have "PhD" in the author bio.

Influencer worship

CBum's regime isn't for you. You have a job, responsibilities, and a life.

Unrealistic timelines

"12-week transformation" started from a base of 10 years training, a chef, and a pharmacy.

Supplement overload

Your cabinet looks like a pharmacy. You've tried everything. Still confused.

The Mind Fuck Cycle

Sound familiar? You're not alone.
Unrealistic goal (Arnold on the wall)
Start program with insane motivation
"Why don't I look different yet?"
"This isn't working"
"Maybe I can't do this"
Quit • switch programs • buy new supplement
New unrealistic goal
REPEAT FOR YEARS

The problem was never the program.

The problem was the GOAL.

What Phantom is NOT

We Don't Do This

Content treadmill (endless articles)
Program seller (12-week transformations)
Supplement store (affiliate bullshit)
Influencer platform (shirtless selfies)
Hustle porn ("no excuses" garbage)
Quick fix promises ("30 days to shredded")

We Do This

Answer Machines (straight answers)
Realistic timelines (for YOUR body)
Evidence-based verdicts (what actually works)
Real food guidance (Pingo Doce, not Whole Foods)
Sustainable approach ("do it for 5 years")
Respect your intelligence (no fluff)
Our Take

The Phantom Voice

Sarcastic but helpful. Calls out bullshit. No corporate wellness speak.

On Hollywood Transformations

"That actor got shredded in 12 weeks because he had a personal chef, trainer, sleep coach, and a pharmacy. You have a full-time job and a Pingo Doce loyalty card. Adjust expectations accordingly."

On Your Goal Physique

"You've had a picture of CBum on your wall for 3 years. Chris Bumstead is 175cm. You're 194cm. His proportions literally cannot exist on your skeleton. Let's figure out what the best version of YOUR frame looks like."

On Meal Prep

"If your meal prep requires a label maker and 47 identical containers, you've built a job, not a system. Cook meat. Put it in the fridge. Eat it during the week. This isn't rocket science."

On Supplements

"BCAAs are the fitness industry's greatest scam. You're paying €30 for something that's already in your chicken breast. We'll tell you what actually works."

Ready for straight answers?

Tried the Realistic-O-Meter? Join the waitlist for more Answer Machines that don't waste your time.

No spam. No "10 secrets to shredded abs." Just updates when we launch new tools.

Frequently Asked Questions